Mad #489 (John Ficarra) - Mr. Roids Issue - May 2008

The Mad gang revisited a favorite subject (baseball players who cheat) in this issue.  See also Mad #469.  Bonds, Clemens and many, many others will continue to lie about their performance-enhancing drug use but the baseball world knows what they did.  They used banned drugs to break records and earn their multi-millions.  People will introduce various drugs into their systems as long as the pleasurable effects outweigh their concern for fairness or bodily harm.  I have proposed that there should be two leagues - one for drug-users and one for non-users.  However, we all know which league would have more fans.  How popular is the under-six-foot-basketball league?  Or, the WNBA?  My question for Major League Baseball is: When are you going to do something about surgically-enhanced players (i.e. "Tommy-John surgery" arms) who also introduce a foreign substance into their bodies to give themselves stronger throwing arms?  The Mad writers target the worst of the offenders: Clemens ("An AT&T Commercial We'd Like to See"); Bonds ("Things We'll Probably Overhear at the Upcoming Barry Bonds Trial ..."; and both ("Bad News Bare-Asses").  True baseball lovers long for the days when their favorite players were only juiced on alcohol and hot dogs.  [JAM 12/6/2014]

Random Acts of Mindless - The Fundalini Pages
Observation Dreck - What the Heck is the Difference?
Milking Amnesia - Slomantha? Who Cares!
Cell Phonies - An AT&T Commercial We'd Like to See
The Crass Characters - Other Kids Book Secrets Revealed Now That Dumbledore Has Been Outed
The Apple of Their Ire - Hello, I'm Barack.  And I'm H.C.
Spiking the Punchline - If Different Comedians Told the Same Joke
Needles And Sins - The Bad News Bare-Asses
In Blog We Trust - Planet Tad!!!!!
Serge-In General - A Mad Look at Doctors
Frodo-Shop - What If Hobbits Were Graphic Designers?  [fake department]
Bauer Outtage - Mad's Do-It-Yourself 24 Season 7 Plotline
Mistake a Vacation - Signs You've Chosen the Wrong Spring Break Destination
Joke And Dagger - Spy vs. Spy
Angster's Paradise - Monroe and ... Extreme Makeover
Plane Nonsense - Mad's Washed-Up Lost Outtakes
A Poke in the Lie - Things We'll Probably Overhear at the Upcoming Barry Bonds Trial

Fold-In - Dr. Phil