Mad #396 (Nick Meglin and John Ficarra) - 50 Worst Things 2000 - August 2000

Mad editors announced in this issue the beginning of an annual feature - the worst things about something or the other.  The first "50 Worst" was about television and I know what you are thinking - how do you limit it to 50?  This annual feature lasted for only eight years as the "things" were television, sports, music, movies, comedy, video games, (why) school (sucks) and advertising although they other found 35 reasons why school sucks.  "Mad's 50 Worst Things About ... TV" was written by Scott Maiko with excellent drawings by Drew Friedman for 20 of the 50.  I was never bothered by Andy Rooney's ear hair (#1) but I agree that "the melted gob of black wax purported to be Sam Donaldson's hair" (#49)haunts me to this day.  I actually liked season three of The Drew Carey Show (#46) but the Friedman drawing of Oz-Drew makes me wonder if I missed a few episodes.  This is a very good effort by the team of Maiko & Friedman but I really needed to see a drawing of #5 - "That frightening power that Oprah appears to wield over an entire nation of mindless, overweight women - except Rosie O'Donnell".  Oprah apparently had the power to suppress the drawing but not the words that are right on the money.

This was certainly a slow month for Mad editorial ideas as they decided to devote four pages to "Kathie Lee Replacements We'll Never See" and three pages to "Tom Green - The Obnoxious Early Years".  These two have been marginal celebrities at best.  [JAM 12/17/2013]

Departments:
Mad's 50 Worst Things About ... TV
Serge-In General - A Mad Look at Gladiators
Angster's Paradise - Monroe & ... The High Seas Part I
Tales From the Duck Side - Quasi Rider; Sofa's Choice
Slam Junk - The Johnson Family Garage Sale Catalog
Joke And Dagger - Spy vs. Spy
Sleuth in Advertising - A More Factual Version of That Deceptive Home Depot Ad
Hostess Stinkies - Kathie Lee Replacements We'll Never See
Who Demand? You Demand! - Little-Known Contract Clauses of Today's Biggest Sports Stars
And a Child Shall Peeve Them - Tom Green - The Obnoxious Early Years
Pope-Pourri - The Comics Page of L'Osservatore Romano - The Vatican Newspaper
Needy Gonzalez - Martha Stewart Redecorates Elian's Relatives' Home After the Raid  [Fake Department]
Missive Impossible - Letters to Magazines That Will Never Run
Humor in a Vernacular Vein - Words and Phrases That Left the English Language During the '90s
The Vampire Strikes Back - Angle
Grieving Las Vegas - Mad's Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds  [Elian Gonzalez]

Fold-In - Parents