Mad #347 (Nick Meglin and John Ficarra) - Olympics 1996 Issue - July 1996

As the world prepared for the 1996 Olympic Games in Atlanta, Georgia, Mad magazine offered Alfred E. Neuman as a torch bearer (on the cover) and three helpful articles: "Future Olympic Dance Competitions", "You Have No Chance of Winning an Olympic Medal If ...", and "Olympic Moments We're Sure To See".  John Caldwell would like to see "The Men's Heavyweight Division Disco Dancer Throw" and "The Men's 200-Meter Moonwalk Medley" among nine other events.  Later, with drawings by Sandy Kossen, Caldwell suggests that you may not win if "your waist size exceeds your best long jump" and ten other recommendations.  Finally, writer Mike Snider offers eleven guaranteed Olympic moments (with great drawings by Jack Davis) including gay divers and a herniated weightlifter.  As good as these 33 jokes are, the better article if "What If God Was One of Us?" written by Andrew Schwartzberg.  The star of the issue is artist Drew Friedman with his clever caricatures of Jack Nicholson, Magic Johnson, Barbara Walters, Batman, Pope John Paul II, Alex Trebek, Larry King, Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, David Schwimmer, Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn.  Friedman's version of God looks a lot like the late Mad publisher William M. Gaines.  I think that may have been intentional. [JAM 3/28/2013]

The military leaders in "Broke 'n' Narrow" are stooges.

Onward Christian Slater - Broke 'n' Narrow
The Agony of De-Feet - Future Olympic Dance Competitions
Behind the Nominate Ball - Mad Assesses the Field of Other "Potential" Presidential Contenders
Generation Ecch - Mad Visits This Year's Blahblahpaloser
Serge-In General - A Mad Look at "When Nature Calls"
The Odds Must Be Crazy - You Have No Chance of Winning an Olympic Medal If
Berg's-Eye View - The Lighter Side
Almighty Fodder - What If God Was One of Us?
Deja Preview - Olympic Moments We're Sure to See
View to a Skill - TV Shows Geared to Teach Hard Subjects
DOS Entertainment - The Wonderful, Wonderful World of Computers
I.M. Farce - Wishin' for the Impossible
Tales From the Duck Side - The Diabolical Deluge Deceit

Fold-In - Spider-Man