1973

Post-United States Navy

(March 3)  On this date I was discharged from the United States Navy at Naval Air Station Lemoore in Lemoore, California.  It was the happiest day of my life until I got married in 1976.  I woke up early and signed all of the papers.  Then I stuffed all of my navy things in my seabag and tossed it into a dumpster before leaving the base.  I did not keep one item.  I drove my red 1965 Dodge Dart to the San Francisco Bay area to meet my friend Moe who was returning from a cruise on March 4.  I stayed in a motel for the night and brought a hand-painted sign the next day that read "SCUMBAG!" so Moe could find me in the huge crowd that met the aircraft carrier.  We drove 400 miles to Southern California talking all the way about everything we had been writing for the past three years since since electronics school in Millington, Tennessee.

[I had been living on base in the new three-man apartments that replaced the barracks.  My roommate, who I will call "JR" since I have not been able to contact him regarding his letters, and I invented a third roommate (Q. P. Gnort) after a bad experience with a third roomie.  JR and I also invented a game called Ultramonopoly.  I accepted the USN offer of a 90-day "early out" but JR decided to stay until June to save money.  We decided to continued our ongoing chess games by mail after I was released.  Following are letters from JR during that period.]

(March 12) "Read this side first!!! Aha!  You thought you could fool me with that opening defensive move, didn't you?  However, in spite of the unscrupulous disguise, I quite cleverly recognized it to be the infamous "Tanfanyikan Defense."  Therefore, I find it quite necessary to employ (even though I didn't wish to do it) the little known, but highly effective "Amalgamated Estonian Offense!" as you will no doubt recall from history, this is the exact same maneuver which was used by the ancient Estonians in their secret attack which drove all the prostitutes out of the Virgin Islands.  You're probably, at this very moment, asking yourself just what in the heck that has to Read this side third!!! do with this chess match.  Go ahead and ask yourself; I'll wait.  And while you're at it, don't expect any witty*, silly*, clever*, or funny* responses#, retorts#, answers# or letters# from me during this highly sophisticated and intelligent chess match.  There's no room for that type of idiotic nonsense in a serious business such as this.  Until I receive your next move (or resignation)  * Choose one; # Ibid.  (over)"

(March 18) "Senor: Just finished "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee."  It was really a great book, but kneaded [sic] a little more salt between pages 317 and 362.  Now back to the game.  You're probably not aware of it, but I have many more troops sitting on the bench waiting to go in and replace anyone who falters in battle.  Contrary to popular belief, Sitting on the Bench was not a great Indian chief: he was a juror from Tujunga.  Now back to the game.  My most likely move would be PxP; you will notice that this requires a sideways move.  You will also, no doubt, recall from history that in the year 417 A.D., the Archbishop (not to be confused with an archknight) of Bifgravia was playing the Duke (not to be confused with John Wayne) of Rookcastle in a match that proceeded similar to ours.  In a quick and lightning-fast move, the Duke captured an Archbishop's pawn with the very same PxP sideways move; whereupon the Archbishop immediately shot the Duke to death with 5 accurate shots from his left index finger.  Now this came as quite a surprise to the Archbishop's 17 wives and 669 sheep, because they had all been led to believe that the Archbishop was right-handed.  Why, not even the members of the Duke's pall bearing team were aware that the Archbishop was, in fact, ambidextrous.  Besides, it was only a quadrashot index finger - no one will ever know where that 5th shot came from.  Being fully aware that history does indeed repeat itself, I do not intend to be goaded into the same misfortune as the Duke.  Therefore, I shall not resort to the PxP sideways move.  However - now back to the game.  With the wrath that only a woman can possess, my queen is going to jump down upon and capture your pawn with all the force and fury of a hurricane, tornado, earthquake and jar of mayonnaise combined.  It all adds up to the following: 3 QxP.  P.S. I've got so darn many of these stupid return address labels that Ginny sent in for me, that I've got to get rid of them some way before June.  Although I'd rather get rid of June first. - Your opponent, adversary & guy on the other team."

(March 22) "To whom it might be of concern note: please be advised that as long as there are choo-choo trains, the tie manufacturers of the world will never have to worry about starving to death!  With that in mind, let us now get back to our continuing story of Moore vs. JR.  As you will probably recall (or maybe you won't recall - I don't really care) from our previous episode, the dirty, rotten, bad-nasty, black knight was in hot pursuit of our sweet, lovely and innocent heroine (C21H23NO5) - the white queen.  Therefore, our young lady is forced to retreat for benefit of her own protection.  Thus: Q-B3.  I was going to KxN; but as you know, that would be putting myself into check, which is a proverbial no-no.  From now on, I shall endeavor to attempt to try to inject a serious note in each of my moves.  One method by which this might be accomplished is by including a thought-for-the-day with each move.  So, today's thought-for-the-day is: never waste your time in trying to think up a thought-for-the-day!  I hope that little thought will bring a ray of sunshine to your day; a smile to your face; a bowl of ice cream to your table; a herd of Tibetan musk oxen to your dining room to watch the Rona Barrett gossip column on T.V. with you.  Flash!  Will someone please get that idiot with the camera out of here?  This bulletin has just been grapevined to me: Luxembourg has just declared war on the U.S.!  Will all military reservists please report to (A) their broom closet (B) their local recruiter (C) an ugly nurse (D) all of the above - in order to be (A) inspected (B) injected (C) rejected (D) neglected.  Please choose one of each.  After that, please destroy this letter before it destroys you.  And last but not not least - JR"

(March 26) "This is page won [sic].  Your last move was received on 'a day like today,' etc.  It's obvious you're trying to get this game over with as soon as possible - which is all right with me, cause as soon as this dumb game is over, I'm going home.  Thought for today: never put your head in the mouth of an enraged cobra! or as Dracula once said to the Countess of Sordfenster - 'I'm sorry, but you're just not my type' which brings us drearily around to the most exciting time of the letter (by the way, today's letter is 'R' - be nice to an 'R' today.  Take one to a Dodger ball game; it could be the beginning of a long friendship) which just happens to be my move.  Are you ready for this?  Prepare yourself.  5 B-Q2.  Wasn't that exciting?  Now on to bigger and better things. (Do not turn over)  I told you not to turn over - but as long as you're here, you might as well read the rest of this dumb letter.  [13 blank lines]  Now then - wasn't that interesting?  It was even more interesting before Gladiola Goodbuddy's team of centrifugal censors got a hold of it.  And just for the record, I hereby crown you 45 r.p.m. for the day.  Congratulations!  JR"

(March 28) "Regrets to inform you that your grade in doodling this semester will be an 'F.'  Sorry bout [sic] that.  And now back to our continuing story - a story that asks the question: will he resign or be checkmated? - which reminds me of an item which I wished to recall.  'Please be assured that I never attempt to make a move without first putting on my green coat.'  And now the moment we've all been waiting for.  Must be careful not to rip envelope - smells like somebody soaked envelope in bucket of mushroom soup.  And the winner of the worst move is: 6 B-Q3!  And now, back to our senses.  Question: What do you get if you cross a boa constrictor? Answer: With what?  Squadron gonna have chess tournament starting Tues. (4-3-73).  $2.00 admission fee.  Winner gets 80% of all entries.  Don't know if I should bother trying or not.  Elvis gonna be on T.V. Wed. 4-4-73 night.  Gotta watch it - 90 minutes.  As of now, don't hafta go on Fallon Det. in April.  Didn't hafta go on last one either.  67 days [until discharge from USN].  Thought for the day:  *If you get an elephant with 3 balls, go ahead and walk him and pitch to giraffe.  'quote-unquote.'  Last night I saw a mad magazine.  It was going crazy killing all the other magazines on the shelf.  *National Lampoon: not that they'd ever claim it.  JR"

(April 2) "The following excerpt was taken directly from a letter which I just sent to Norman St. Vincent Banana Peale: quote - 'Look Norm, I've had it with your always borrowing my dictionary; if you want to know what cuspidor means, you can just go buy your own dictionary' - unquote.  Contrary to unpopular belief, the names were not changed to protect the innocent; therefore, may the innocent be forever vulnerable to vicious calumniations.  And as long as we're on the subject, we're not going to get anywhere.  So let us change it.  My king and bishop would like to announce that they are pleased to accept your bishop into their chorus line.  However, a word of warning: the following quotation was found in a letter which was intercepted by an alert postal clerk after being tipped by a suspicious pony express rider.  'This here chorus line ain't big enough for the both of us, so I'm leaving.'  As you can probably guess, this was a letter from my queen to your bishop.  Anyway, as you can probably guess again, my next move is: 7 Q-N3.  Question: if QN1 is under attack, can 0-0-0 still be legally made?  According to Hoyle, this is permissible (providing all other prerequisites are met.)  I asked Roger and he says this is correct because you are not castling out of, through, or into check.  (as long as QN1 is not under attack by a knight or pawn) (knight would have to be attacking from B6 and pawn from R7) (no doubt other exceptions) Will await your comment.  Thought for today: don't think - do!  Yes, you may quote me on that.  As soon as I find a stamp and envelope, I'll mail this. JR.  P.S. [blank]"

(April 5) "Today's answer: was it Ferdley P. Snorkelbine?  Gee, I hope that's right!  Thought for today: never, under any circumstances, should you ride a bike while your appendix is being removed.*  Now then - to get down to the matter at hand.  Did I ever tell you that in my 6 years if Little League Baseball, (senior league included) I had a grand total of 647 fnorks?  But my main problem was that 258 of them came with nobody on base.  139 of them were unassisted though.  However, I was once robbed of one when Joan Baez ran onto the field and sang 'Heartbreak Hotel' to the home plate umpire.  Guess you might say it was my saddest moment in sports.  Today's question: how many scrempfils in a dyhiggot?  Antihint: or as Julius Larosa once said prior to singing the pledge of allegiance to a group of Mogorki tribal warriors: 'once a dyhiggot, always a dyhiggot.'  *Exception: unless, of course, the person removing it is a member of Hell's Angels.  In which case you should grab nearest bike & get the hell out of there.  And let us not forget what J.R. once said to J.A. in the 8th move of their historic first mail chess match; quote 8 B-K3 unquote and B4U ask - no U may not quote me on that - it's classified material.  59 and counting.  Thanx fer splainin the castlin - I didn't wanna do it now anywho.  And don't fergit 2 giv my best 2 Omar, Krelb & Enoch. [names of my bowling balls] & leev us knot fergit those 2 relentless herose & crimefiters - Rocky & Bullwinkle.  The end.  JR.  P.S.  [partial answer to my cryptogram] AND A SEMI-COLON TO MISTER _ _I_  _EE_.  I_'_ _ BE GOOD FOR YOU.  YOU'LL BE GLAD YOU DID."

(April 9) "The reason I sent so many address labels is because our game is progressing much faster than I originally assumed it would.  In reference to the contest between Clarence Price and the cherrystone clam; (mentioned in your letter, of course) I seem to vaguely remember reading about it in a past "Time" magazine of some years ago; and would like 2 clear up a point.  You said that Clarence was declared winner by virtue of a point system; however, as you will probably recall, the point system was not officially introduced until some years later.  At the time of the contest in mention, the Graxzylze System was still in use, and in fact, the clam was officially declared the winner as it had compiled 132.67 more flirk-graxzylzers than Clarence.  However, you were correct in your reference to the ping-pong matches in which Clarence soundly thrashed the clam by 21-2, 21-1, 21-5.  Well, I must admit, you really got me on that one.  I figured you'd never be able to guess the no. of scrempfils in a dyhiggot.  It never dawned on me that the Potrzebie System would ever be mentioned in Mad magazine.  Which brings us to today's question: (will not accept: 'show it slides of Guam' as a write-in answer!) if you were to see a dlerm floundering in a bmal of seddes, which of the following would you do? (only one answer is correct) A. Pick it up and eat it. B. Hit it on the head with a raw toothpick. C. Try to convert it to Buddhism. D. Blame it on the bossa nova. E. None of the above - but not necessarily in that order.  Are you sure it wasn't Ferdley P. Snorkelbine?  That's what it said in my book of 'Miscellaneous Records' by F.P. Snorkelbine.  Also, it stated that the world's fastest human was Ferdley P. Snorkelbine; the best encyclopedia salesman in the western hemisphere is Ferdley Snorkelbine; and the largest midget to have ever thumbed a ride through Pago Pago Pago City in Guatemala is one F.P. Snorkelbine.  You don't possibly think for one plurtzim that I got hold of the wrong book, do you?  How does it feel to have -38 days left in the navy? [note by JR's fiance] 'Jerry did you catch that negative.  I almost didn't.  Ginny (squaw)'  Or as Doris Day once said to the King of Raw-Bolognia: you'd better make it quick, because at noon I turn back into a virgin.  (as U no, she never stays out beyond noon.)  JR.  P.S. 9. PxB  9. Q-B2  10. N-Q2"

(April 12) "According to 'the new Merriam-Webster pocket dictionary, the only pocket dictionary based on today's unabridged word authority, Webster's Third New International Dictionary.'  Navy: 1. A disease marked by recurring desires to re-enlist, and fever caused by a parasite carried by a gung-ho and/or by a lifer.  2. Any reasonable facsimile thereof.  The 'international authority on answers to dumb questions' regrets to inform you that your answer - C) try to convert it to Buddhism is absolutely incorrect, and also wrong.  Instead, the correct answer should be - E) none of the above, but not necessarily in that order.  Better luck next time.  Which reminds me - today's question just happens to be coming up next.  RU ready 4 this 1?  How do U get a frurrulp to klilmen its own abadab?  A) By sending its sibling to day school 7 nights a week.  B) By taking Salem out of the country. C) By stopping its subscription to National Lampoon. D) All of the above, except A, B, & C.  Incidentally, your reference to the relationship between the bossa nova and a bmal of qwertyuiop is quite precise and is to be commended.  But your answer is still wrong.  At the current time, I'm taking a course in double-talk.  So if this letter gets to you before I mail it, think nothing of it.  Question: in the idiot's open championship tournament, was that the opening or final round?  Question: Did Henry just hit another home run?  Question: Did you know that Des Moines, Iowa got 16 inches of snow Sun. & Mon. (4-8 & 4-9)?  Question: Aren't these questions fun?  On your 10. 0-0, which you so harshly pointed out as not being Little Orphan Annie with a nose job, could it possibly have been Little Annie Fanny with a balloon job?  And while we're on the subject, 11. N-B3.  Comment: in the idiot's open - on black's 19th move, you had N-N3; it should have been N-B3.  No wonder it was a draw.  JR.  Do not write below this line!"

(April 16) "And the winner is - WINGY BALONEY!  Yes, folks, our winner is none other than Wingy Baloney, former clarinet, saxophone, & oxbone player with the late Glenn Miller Purples Band.  However, due to misfame & malfortune, Mr. Baloney was forced to change his name to Ted J. and was made to accept a lowly job as a backdrop for the Lohman & Barkley Uncomedy Hour.  And while we're on the subject, RU going 2 enter the summer disc jockey contest to exploit children & make money 4 L&B?  Question: did Henry hit another homer?  Unfortunately, the question involving the furlongs & the fortnights cannot be answered at this time due to an oversight on behalf of the questioner who forgot to mention whether it was a Monacan, Peruvian, or Guacamole spaceship.  Excuse the booboo.  As you correctly figured out, my 11. was KN-B3 & thus your 11. may be P-QN3.  Congratulations sir!  Your entry in the 'name the rugrat' contest was the first entry received by our judge.  Thus, UR the winner of a lifetime supply of mail chess matches - or as long as your opponent's stamp supply holds out.  Not to mention the fact that 12. 0-0-0; and no, that's not Groucho Marx trying to guess which one it's under.  Finally got around to reading all those history making chess matches in the April Playboy.  My favorite was where (repeat) where white nailed all of black's players to the board so he couldn't move them.  Incidentally, your entries of Kolander Waxmyrtle & Tibia Milkweed will be turned over to Ginny Squaw for safekeeping and/or circular filing upon her return from Texas.  Yes, I actually got rid of her for 10 days while she went to Texas with her dad & brother.  Thought 42day: unless your will is already made out, it would be inadvisable to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to a _________.  The end."

(April 19) "GNU.  Concerning that immortal chess match to which you were referring, I have not been sitting idly by; for I too have been probing through the heartlands of America in search of the opinions of those who care enough to follow just such a match.  However, whereas your poll was obviously taken in the middle of downtown Granada Hills, mine was throughout middle-class America - that breed of people that breeds more people, etc.  Here is but a sample of their replies.  Mrs. Mollybee Marboley, Marbo, Idaho.  Why, that's impossible!  Who ever heard of a pound of nightcrawlers costing more than a year's supply of trashcan liners?  Ad infinitum.  Mr. Peter Pamper, Plaguebox, Penn.  I doubt if a mother hen could ever know the real joy of winning a world series; but then, King Kong doesn't play tennis that often anyway.  Rev. Moses Dogooder, Cairo, Illinois  The road to heaven is straight & narrow - not to be confused with a bowl of raspberry Jell-O.  Stupiditus 4:8-9  Lem Clemons, Flagstaff, Ariz.  If you send your sinuses to Maine, Red China will never again play ping-pong on Atlantis.  However, mushroom hunting is great for marsupials.  Ms. Lucy Flerg, Grelf, Louisiana  If, in the course of history, Luxembourg is attacked by Antarctica, then the tooth fairy promises to cancel its subscription to Reader's Digest.  However, a pinch of saltpeter will do quite nicely.  And there you have the voice of everyday America - never too involved to miss a good chess match.  Incidentally 13. P-KR3.  Armadillo?  JR.  Did you know that an upside-down question mark doesn't really do anything for me?"

(April 24) "To quote Gabanga Mogorku, Aborigine tribal warrior, captain of the Wellington Wallabies, and world record holder for most completed passes to himself: 'A boomerang in the hand isn't worth a pound of Joey Heatherton to an Armenian tic-tac-toe champion.'  Unfortunately, among the living there isn't a great demand for Aborigine quotes these days.  But if there ever is, at least you'll have one, poised and ready for battle.  And as long as we're not already on the subject, what's an adrimal?  I looked it up in every dictionary I own & was unable to find it.  But when the no. of dictionaries you own is zero, it makes a difference.  Don't you think so?  If you happen to run across an old, dilapidated 'May 73 Reader's Digest,' there's an interesting story entitled 'Where is that country?'  It sounds like something you'd send in to a 'Name that tune' contest.  How many homers does Henry have this year so far?  According to the Slobbovian Defense, my next move is dictated to be as follows: 14. Q-B3.  There's only one thing I don't like about the Slobbovian Defense.  Have you ever tried catching nightcrawlers with it?  Thought for today: never arm wrestle a Portuguese man-of-war during the halftime of a hurricane!  Or as Golda Meir once said while tap-dancing in a vat of molasses, 'D - all of the above.'  JR.  Porcupine."

(undated) "Harold & Lola, Horace & Glub! One day - Tues. the 4th to be exact - while out in his front yard picking a bouquet of dandelions for his pet pirhana Glub, Harold Fern heard two bloodcurdling screams coming from the living room of his house.  Tilting his head 17 degrees north - which was the exact angle at which Harold's own wave length worked best - he tuned in his hearing aid and picked up two distinct and different cries.  One was that of his wife Lola, who sounded to be in excruciating pain, which is pain at its very best; and the other was that of his pet boa constrictor Horace, who was obviously suffering from sore throat pain.  Forthwith, Harold ran into the house, and upon entering the living room, right away noticed the reason for Harold's sore throat.  There, tightly wedged in Harold's throat from feet to waist, was Lola.  While he was at it, Harold also took time out to notice the reason for his wife's pain.  Undaunted, Harold immediately fled - for lack of a better word - into the kitchen and swung open the cupboard doors beneath the sink.  *Ed. note 'in fleeing to the kitchen, Harold eclipsed .2 sec. off the world's record.'  He then grabbed a plunger - not just any plunger, but a genuine 19-cent K-Mart plunger which he had just purchased the day before using the coupon which he had clipped from the newspaper - and slammed the doors.  Stopping just long enough to emit a bloodcurdling yell of his own, and to open up the cupboard doors again, Harold slowly and painfully retrieved one smashed thumb from between the doors.  Reshutting the doors Harold scurried - again, for lack of a better word - back into the living room with his genuine 19-cent K-Mart plunger leading the undaunted charge.  When he had entered the living room for a second time, Harold checked and noticed that Horace's sore throat was somehow miraculously gone.  Harold also noticed that his wife Lola was somehow miraculously gone.  From the aquarium came the heinous laugh of Glub, who just smiled and swam away.  The moral of our story is: 'never stick your feet in someone else's mouth.'  Due to a Himalayan metaphor, today's thought has been surreptitiously cancelled.  Is a Mark Stein anything like a dollar mug?  Now how many does Henry have?  How many games will it take for the Lakers to beat the Knicks?  16. P-B4.  Caribou!"

(undated) "What is a pleepzrok?  - the question more Siberian aardvark trainers have been asking their mother-in-laws than any other grapefruit - a pleepzrok is a round trip ticket to Alpha Centauri - a pleepzrok is a free lifetime supply of Esquire sock stretchers - a pleepzrok is a bottle of disease for the cure of your choice - a pleepzrok is a yellow Frisbee full of used caterpillar diesel oil in place of any Monday.  Incidentally, the following statement was surgically removed from a letter received by our staff just yesterday from Ms. Mable Fudwuggle of Cantankarasoor, Alaska.  'My, what a lovely pen knife you're carrying around in your left eyeball.'  For her sentiments, Ms. Fudwuggle will receive a complimentary year's supply of hermetically sealed wood shavings.  Am so happy you enjoyed the adventures of Harold, Lola, Horace & Glub; however, your reference to Sandra Dee's hernia operation must have come from some other source; as I only mentioned Debbie Reynold's toenail transplant during halftime of the 489th showing of Frankenstein vs. the Riddler, et al.  Would appreciate it if you would be more accurate in categorizing your references in the past.  Now how many does Henry have?  Your local reptile gardens & SPCA has asked me to send you the enclosed questionnaire.  Please fill it out as accurately & concisely as possible, and then return it to your nearest trash can.  Remember, as there are really no right answers, you won't be graded on correctness; however, you will be graded on neatness and ability to express yourself clearly.  You have 5 seconds.  Go!  Stop!  Now then, wasn't that fun?  Yes, I'm afraid I'll have to agree with you on that one: 17 N-N3 is a strange way to start a sentence.  Will inform you as to when plan 'B' goes into effect.  It will be immediately recognizable by the obvious characteristics which will be included in 3-0-1-1 etc.  This morning when I was giving my car a test hop on I-10, I noticed a poet-type lady with a sign around her neck which said 'Mrs. Ted.'  She said she was hitch-hiking to the Lohman & Barkley, so I gave her a ride as far as Petaluma.  JR.  Taradactyl."

[The following was written on the back of my undated letter in response to questions in my letter.  My letter is in italics.]  "Yes, it's that time again.  Take out a pencil and a piece of paper.  Raise your hand when you're finished.  1. What is the average annual rainfall of Milkow, Wisconsin? (exactly)  The rain in Wisconsin falls mainly downward.  2. How many fingers do you have on your left hand? (within 100 fingers)  The digital dexterity now bestowed upon the left portion of my body is proportionately equal to that on the right side of my person on a one-to-one basis.  3. How far will Haley's Comet be from Jupiter on March 4, 2037? (within 6 inches)  According to Funk & Wagnalls Table of Miscellaneous Odds & Ends, the answer to that one is definitely true.  4. Who is January 27, 1873?  January 27, 1873, is in fact, none other than Homer Highjump, world champion frog from Calaveras County.  5. If two wrongs don't make a right, the sun always sets in the west, and Nucoa margarine tastes like the high-priced spread, why can't you get a plumber on a Sunday?  Have you ever tried catching a polar bear with a butterfly net?  6. Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?  You have 35 minutes to complete the test.  Don't you wish you'd studied last night?  In all actuality, they were stranded just beyond our universe when their spaceship blew up centuries ago.  However, as soon as necessary repairs are made, you can be assured that they'll be back.  WEAATHER - the worst spell of weather we've had in quite a while.  17 NxN is a strange way to end a letter.  18 RPxN (uncheck).  I'm sorry, but I don't know the answers to 7 thru 17.  JR.  Lightning bug.  18 P-K4."

(May 21) "Timely referral to my Funkin' Wagnall's Dictionary of Miscellaneous Odds & Ends has once again lavished upon my person this none-too-valuable tidbit of info: 'green highway' is a disillusionment often encountered by 'sick uncles;'  It should not be taken seriously, as it is not - I repeat, not - real.  As soon as your 'sick uncle' is well again, the 'green highway' will immediately & forthwith disappear.  However, if your 'sick uncle' has died from 'green highway,' please disregard the previous statement.  Yours for una carretera mas verde, el monstro de la laguna negra.  And now - back to our game!  19 K-N2!  And now - back to our letter! Two unfortunate conditions have arisen which have prompted a change in the scheduled ceremony.  The following excerpt was taken from a letter we received only this morning: unable to locate 21 musicians stop Lennon Sisters have volunteered to sing 'Billy the Mountain' for 4 pair of mooseskin falsies stop will it be O.K.? stop stop.  Secondly, due to an unfortunate outbreak of common coloitis, [sic] the ambergris smelling contest has been cancelled.  Other than that, everything appears go.  What has 16 heads, 229 feet, runs the 100 yd. dash in 7.64 sec., is able to leap tall buildings with a single bound, and once played second base for the Terre Haute Rangers?  Answer will be found on page 32 of the Jan. 7, 1916 edition of Better Homes and Gardens."

(June 3) "Below is an official authorized revised calendar of the total amount of freedom I will obtain in my entire life.  1973  June 1973  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  [numbers 2 and 3 are crossed out]  The official U.S.N. kicked me out on 6-1-73.  So now I am an authentic version of a civilian.  Among the things I've accomplished during my freedom are: 1. thrown some clothes on the floor.  2. walked outside without a hat on.  3. worn socks that didn't match.  4. ate a pomegranite [sic] in a haystack.  5. ate 37 chocolate chip cookies w/o coconut, and 4 with coconut.  6. did not salute 12 naval officers.  7. took an amoeba to a cockfight.  8. sent a chess move to Norwalk, Calif.  Did you know that the best time for running the mile in the U.S. is 7:00 p.m.?  Your drawing of my 20th move was an excellent illustration of what my chess board looked like after my 20th move, as far as my 1st rank was concerned.  21 N-Q2.  Ginny and I just got into a violent argument over which major league B.B. team leads both leagues in hits, team batting, ERA, & double plays.  I say it's the Frullipville Gnorts & she says it's the L.A. Dodgers.  Will you please settle this argument & get our marriage started off on the right foot?  Signed Almost Married.  Once again it is time for that famous question that anybody who knows anything about baseball is asking anybody who knows anything about B.B.  Now how many does Henry have?  JR.  Polecat"   [Henry Aaron hit 40 home runs in 1973]

(June 25) [written on The Mar-Clair Motel in downtown Tillamook, Oregon letterhead] "SURPRISE!  Figured it was about time to let you know what was up.  Still ain't home yet.  Left Lemoore 6-12 and spent 11 days with my cousins up in Dublin near Frisco.  Left there Sat. (6-23) a.m.  And now am in Tillamook, Oregon.  Been driving along the coast ever since Frisco.  Gonna go to Everett, Washington to spend a week or so with some more relatives.  Possibly visit Canada & then go home along northern border.  Probably be at least another 10 days before getting home.  So don't expect my next move for about 2 more weeks.  Didn't bring a chess set with me.  Left mine with Wade so he'd have one to play with.  He & I are gonna start a mail chess match soon as I get home.  In case you're wondering, I still have all the moves from our match.  But if they get lost, I'll let you know.  Don't know if I told you before or not, but I finally went to Disneyland the night of 6-6.  Went down with Ginny on senior grad night.  Park was open from 10 p.m. to 5 a.m. & there wasn't hardly anybody there; so practically had the run of the place.  It was really fantastic - went far beyond my expectations.  Ginny says to tell ya 'ugh.'  In case you ain't already got my address. [Des Monies address]  JR.  Wombat."

(July 1) "Congratulations Mr. Moore!  This may come as quite a shock to you, Mr. Moore; but the return address on your envelope has just been nominated as one of the '10' best return addresses in the world.  The reason you don't see it on your envelope is because it was just recently sent in to the 'International Return Address Contest Headquarters' in Calnookie, Swaziland.  There, a panel of 9 1/2 impartial judges consisting of a Japanese sword-swallower, a Swiss mountain climber, an Argentine sheep-farmer, a Greek lesbian, a Ubangi tribal chieftain, an Hawaiian hula-dancer, an Italian monk, a Turkish bath-house operator, a French whore, and a midget, will determine whether or not the return address on your envelope has won first place.  In event of a tie, the winner will be decided in a peanut-butter gargling contest between a member of the Dallas Cowboys and Ding Ling Doug, this year's winner in the 47th annual Chairman Mao look-alike contest.  If you should lose, Mr. Moore, you'll know it immediately; because you'll never hear from us again.  And if you should happen to get lucky and win, we'll just hang on to your prize money.  After all, we're well aware of the fact that you're the kind of person who never wins anything anyway.  Thanx a bunch; U.R. Gonalooze Pres. & Chairman Int. Ret. Add. Cont. Hdqtrs. Calnookie, Swaziland 987321654."

(November 29) "In regards to your question of 8-20-73 concerning the originator of the 'ram in the ramalamadingdong:'  Having conducted a galaxy-wide study of the situation at hand, the most logical answer was given to me by a 'Mister X-Z' of the planet 'Zixnugs-2P' who said , 'It wasn't me!.'  Further study, which involved the solicitation of funds from the 'Home for Wayward Millionaires' by Jimmy the Greek, revealed that the odds were 5 3/4 to 3.78641 that it might have been Anwar Mao Dayan.  However, Billie J. King doesn't think so.  Recently, I received the following message in my mailbox.  'Dear Peon:  Unfortunately, the name - Kolander Waxmyrtle has been discovered to be a code name for a Tibetan socialist plot.  Therefore, it would be ill-advised & illegal to pawn this name off on your new-born child.  The implications would be obvious.  Thank you, & go to hell.' Brezhnev Hussein Alexei, Head of CIA, FBI, 4-H, etc.  Anyway, Christian Alan was born yesterday 11-28-73 at 7:25 a.m., 6 lb. 13 oz. & 19 1/2 in.  If I can get a clipping, will send it along.  Concerning chess match, might as well resign.  Haven't been able to get thoughts back together.  Think you had me pretty much in the hole anyway.  Good night Ms. Calabash, wherever you ain't.  JR.  EMU"

 

American Gas Association
On Thursday, April 26, 1973, I was sent by an employment agency to interview for a job at American Gas Association (A.G.A.) Laboratories.  I was given a tour of the facility by testing supervisor, Ernest (Skee) Gorczyca.  There were gas appliances everywhere in the three buildings and in the yard between them.  I had no idea what the job might be at this business.  After the tour, Skee brought me into the office of the manager, Vincent Garni.  Vince said to me: "Well, what do you think?"  I said that I was "not mechanically inclined."  He said: "Oh, you'll do OK."  So I took the job and started as a test engineer "B" on Monday, April 30, 1973.

I came to work at A.G.A. after 4.5 years of college and 3 years, 8 months and 23 days in the U.S. Navy.  I had been interviewing for almost two months.  In that time, I had turned down two job offers and had seen a dozen other job openings that I also did not want.

In desperation, I had decided to take the next job offer just to get started.  I went to an agency that sent me to interview for the order clerk opening at an auto supply company.  The manager looked at my application and told me that I did not want this job.  He said: "You filled out this application form faster than I can read it."  He then called the agency and told them to send me on an interview for a better job.  The next interview was at A.G.A.

The management team at the East Los Angeles branch of American Gas Association Laboratories were known by the employees as "The Bull" (Vince Garni - 1920-1985), "The Duke" (L.J. Swift) and "The Goose" (Skee Gorczyca 1926-1992).  I was first interviewed by Skee who gave me a tour of the cluttered testing lab that was built in 1939.  I was not impressed.

Vince was an outgoing, pudgy, soft-hearted man who came to A.G.A. with a degree in microbiology.  He was an excellent test engineer but had no management training.  He had a quick-temper and a colorful vocabulary but was generally liked by everyone who knew him.  It seemed to me that he always wore the same brown suit.  He was promoted to manager after the branch's only other manager (Herb Vogen) died suddenly.

L.J. (Luther Jenkins) Swift (inspection supervisor)  was "The Duke".  He was always known by his initials. His "Duke" nickname came from "Earl J." which became "Duke of Earl" and then just "Duke".  He was a bomber pilot in World War II and a sprinter at USC where he earned an engineering degree.  Old-timers knew him as "Sporty" or "Sport".  Some of us called him "Lowell Jasper" but not to his face.

I found L.J. to be a very slow-working individual who always found the hardest way to do anything.  His desk was incredibly cluttered. Ron Davis and I once placed a large valve on his desk to see how long it would stay there.  It did not move for months.  It finally disappeared with the other junk when the Director from Cleveland made his annual visit to the coast.

Skee (testing supervisor) was "The Goose", the name coming from his Polish surname Gorczyca and the way he walked.  He had one thing in common with Vince and L.J. - he did not have a clue about managing people.  Unlike the others, he did not have a college degree although he always pretended that he did.

Skee was pompous and egotistical and inconsistent.  He had learned a lot about gas appliances, but nothing about the scientific method.  He would ignore tests required by the American National Standards but would make up other tests on the spot.  Appliance manufacturers were terrified of him and his power.  From 1939 to 1984, all gas appliance manufacturers had to come to A.G.A. (in Los Angeles or Cleveland) and hope that Skee (or John Fitzgerald in Cleveland) would give them his blessings.  They knew that he could (and would) delay their new product development process. [to be continued]

 

Following is the history of the American Gas Association Laboratories in Los Angeles, California.

(August 31, 1939) "To promote and develop the gas industry to the end that it may serve to the fullest possible extent the best interests of the public.  This Pacific Coast Branch of the testing laboratories is dedicated August 31, 1939 by A. F. Bridge American Gas Association Inc. Conrad N. Lauer, President; Walter C. Beckjord, Vice President; T.J. Strickler, Vice President; A. Forward, Managing Director.  Laboratories Managing Committee: N.T. Sellman, Chairman; C.E. Bennett; R.M. Conner; A.F. Bridge; R.B. Harper; C.E. Whitwell." [Plaque imbedded in the front of the building.]

(August 31, 1939) Dedication speech by Arthur F. Bridge (President and General Manager of Southern Counties Gas Company, Los Angeles, California): "The other day I happened to glance through the proceedings of an international gas congress which was held in San Francisco 24 years ago.  Undoubtedly there are some here who attended that meeting.  It is very interesting, in the light of the tremendous advances since made by the gas industry, to read what the gas men were thinking and talking about then.  What struck me most forcibly was this fact: at least 75 percent of the discussions were concerned with gas lighting, how to increase it, and how, in the face of electricity's strenuous competition, to retain it.  One of the important papers presented was entitled - 'The Substitution of Heating Value for Candle-power as a Standard for Gas Quality'.  It is quite evident that in 1915 the gas lighting load, despite the vigorous competitive bid of electricity, was still considered the backbone of our industry, - its chief and steadiest source of revenue.

"Yet in that same year an event occurred which clearly shows that progressive men in the industry recognized the growing importance of the use of gas for cooking and water heating.  In the year 1915, the formulation of a nationally acceptable gas safety code was undertaken jointly by the National Bureau of Standards and by two major associations of the gas industry, which later became the American Gas Association.  This movement, coupled with the formation of a committee to consider plans for the testing and certification of domestic gas equipment by a national agency, really marks the beginning of a new era in the history of gas utilization in America.

"The gas safety code was completed and adopted as an American Standard in 1927.  It established the principles of safe gas utilization with which all of our appliance specifications conform.

"In 1915 a national laboratory for gas appliance testing was still only a plan, the recommendation of a committee headed by R.B. Harper.  Followed a decade of planning and discussion which culminated in 1925 in the establishment of our A.G.A. laboratory at Cleveland under the direction of R.M. Conner.  Thus for the first time an impartial central agency of standardization, testing, certification, and research was made available to the entire gas industry of America.

"The A.G.A. laboratory has five distinct functions which, briefly stated are - 1. Development of national construction and performance standards for gas appliances and accessories.  This work is performed by 42 committees, composed of manufacturer and utility representatives, assisted by the laboratory staff.  2. Testing and certifying appliances and inspecting factory output to check compliance with these standards.  This is obviously our biggest job and is handled entirely by the laboratory's personnel.  3. Providing appliance manufacturers with facilities for developing, re-designing, and testing their products, and with expert technical advice, upon request.  4. Research investigations covering various phases of our industry but principally pertaining to gas utilization.  5. Education, such as instruction of home service representatives and other employee groups, issuance of information for the consuming public regarding appliance certification, publication of research bulletins, etc.  The standardization, research, and educational activities are conducted from our Cleveland headquarters.

"Much might be said about the accomplishments of our laboratories during the 14 years of their operation, but I shall comment on only a few of the obvious and outstanding results.

"The extent of acceptance of the laboratory program is proven by the fact that approximately 95% of all gas-burning appliances marketed in the U.S. and Canada bear the Laboratory seal of approval.

"More than 99% of the appliances submitted for test require some alteration in order to meet approval standards, which shows the need for these specifications and their enforcement.

"Marked advances have been effected in utilization efficiency without impairment of safety or dependability.  Thus during the past 9 years the average efficiency of range top burners tested has increased about 47%.

"The safety, beauty, speed, serviceability, ruggedness and cleanliness of domestic appliances have been greatly improved, and automatic control devices have come into general use.

"I believe that the A.G.A. laboratories have played a leading part in this development.

"Soon after the establishment of the Cleveland laboratory it became apparent that the growing body of gas appliance manufacturers on the Pacific Coast could not be economically or satisfactorily served from Cleveland, on account of delay, cost of transportation, and lack of direct contact with the laboratory staff.  Therefore, in September, 1931, the Los Angeles Branch Laboratory, completely equipped for appliance testing, was installed in rented quarters on Towne Avenue.

"At that time it appeared that our present building would be large enough to meet all requirements for many years, but unprecedented demands of the past 2 years have rendered our local plant quite inadequate.  A few figures will indicate the trend.

"For the past two years the volume of test work has increased, on the average, 40% over the preceding twelve-month period, and currently it exceeds that of 1933-34 by more than 3 to 1.  There are now more than 90 manufacturers who submit their appliances to our local laboratory for testing.

"Greater refinement in approval standards has also increased the test work; thus today a range must meet some 550 requirements, as compared to 270 in 1928.

"For the past year or more, increased testing has made it impossible to afford our local manufacturers even the space necessary to work on their appliances undergoing test, but this situation will soon be remedied.

"As the local member of the Testing Laboratories Managing Committee, I am called upon the [sic] (to) commemorate the erection of a permanent home for our Pacific Coast Branch.  In designing this structure the Managing Committee and engineers have drawn their inspiration, to a large extent, from the Cleveland plant.  We feel that we will have a Laboratory here that will equal the high standard established in Cleveland, which is characterized as the largest and best equipped gas appliance testing institution in the world.  In the new structure, as in the Cleveland laboratory, the work of testing will be departmentalized.  Separate laboratories will take care of the various types of equipment to be tested, one room for range testing, another for water heating, and a third will be devoted entirely to space heating.  A special room is being provided for a chemical laboratory, under the supervision of a chemical engineer.  We are providing ample space for the use of manufacturers, in addition to quarters for the Laboratory Supervisor and his staff.

"It is therefore with great pride that I affix this plaque, commemorating the commencement of construction here, to our industry's new laboratory building, which is dedicated - to the promotion and development of the gas industry to the end that it may serve to the fullest possible extent the best interests of the public."

(November 25, 1939) "The American Gas Association Testing Laboratories announce a change of address effective Nov. 25, 1939 for the Pacific Coast Branch.  The new address will be 1425 Grande Vista Avenue, Los Angeles, Calif. (corner 11th Street) (Hofstetter Industrial Tract) Telephone ANgelus 1-8161." [announcement]

(February 9-15, 1940) Open house ceremonies - 570 visitors plus 21 staff members

Staff members on 1940 photograph now (July 2009) hanging at CSA International (2805 Barranca Parkway, Irvine, CA):
Front Row (left to right): R.V. (Chiefie) Myer, W.H. (Herb) Vogan, Fred A. Allen and A.A. Jacquot
Second Row: (unidentified), Leo G. Bellafontaine, Edith A. Wheeler, E.A. Hoge, T.B. Gregory, Gordon Walther and (unidentified)
Third Row: Charles Koch, Herbert Luoma, Paul A. Jermann, Courtney Douglas, (unidentified), Sam Jones and Albert R. Duim
Back Row: (unidentified), H.H. Hill and Carl Samuelson
[Of the four unidentified male staff members, three names are Morris C. Croker, Hubert C. Lattimer and M.W. Stransky.]

Open House Visitors:
[Feb. 9, 1940] Eyre Powell (Powell Press Service) Howard O'Reilly (Powell Press Service) V.J. Brophy (Sears Roebuck & Co.) R.H. Stewart (Sears Roebuck & Co.) J.S. Missildine (Sears Roebuck & Co.) Otto Trauthe (Southern Calif. Gas Co.) Deke Houlgate (A.G.A.) John R. Leff (photographer) Ellen J. Milligan (Director of Home Economics, Los Angeles Schools) Jasmine Britton (Director of Library of Textbooks, Los Angeles Schools) M.R. Chandler (So. Cal. Gas Co.) R.M. Parmer (Cleveland, Ohio) R.M. Richter (L.A. - Gas Age) Andrew R. Boone (Popular Sci. Mo.) Arthur Rohman (Gas Magazine) J. Ivan Reusselaer (So. Calif. Gas Co.) Marshall DuBois (Wall Street Journal) Harold Mendelsohn (L.A. Times) Paul Calvert (L.A. Times) Hazel Blair Dodd (Herald Express) Cheryl Nelson (Gas Co.) Prudence Penny (Los Angeles Examiner) Hal Coeling (L.A. Gas Age) Wm. S. Barton (L.A. Times) Paul Lady (Butane-Propane News) Guy Corfield (So. Cal. Gas Co.) C.A. Thorp (Natural Gas Bureau Appliance Lab) Pauline Ferrill (Down Town Shopping News) Roy A. Wehe (Railroad Courier) E.F. McPraughton (Railroad Courier) Wm. H. Gordon (Railroad Courier) R.G. Holman (Railroad Courier) Lyle Abbott (Herald-Express) W.C. Nisbet (L.A. Chamber of Commerce) R.W. Nisbet (L.A. C. of C.) Marian Manners (L.A. C. of C.) [Feb. 12, 1940] Ray Montgomery (San Francisco) A.B. Courant (San Francisco) H. Kyson (Payne Furnace) Walt True (Payne) R.D. MacLang (Payne) Philip P. Brown (Payne) Larel R. Bogue (Payne) E.L. Holmann (Payne) Wm. J. Dailey (Payne) Harold S. Boston (Payne) L.M. Huel (Payne) C.J. Clark (Payne) Q.E. Coleman (Payne) Robert M. Johnson (Payne) Robert L. Gunter (Payne) George Hees (Payne) Owen M. Kline (Payne) Robert R. Ingebretsen (Payne) E.B. Conger (Dow Harper Photography) R.B. Harper (The Peoples Gas Light & Coke Co.) G.H. Higgs (Sumar Heating) Chas. Newhold (Newhold Plumbing Co.) C.O. Holmberg (Burbank) Douglas Jones (Lumbermens Mutual Casts) Wm. Meyncke (Grayson) L.J. Pestridge (Grayson) Wm. J. Grayson (Grayson) T.H. Jeffers (Grayson) Hal Rice (Grayson) O. Crawford (Grayson) Ralph F. Lund (Swift & Co. Laboratories) Alexander Forward (American Gas Association) Stanley E. Tierney (Graduate Student U.S.C.) Dan L. Henny (Graduate Student U.S.C.) Eldo M. Kurtz (Graduate Student U.S.C.) James H. Keller (Graduate Student U.S.C.) [Feb. 13, 1940] E.J. Hinchey (Jas. Graham Mfg. Co.) Ross Munro (Jas. Graham Mfg. Co.) W.C. McCullough (So. Calif. Gas Co.) Herbert Waugh (So. Calif. Gas Co.) Clare Conger (Hollywood) Don Hooper (L.A.) Ben Varon (L.A.) G.S. Denison (Van Nuys) C.R. Hill (L.A.) Chas. Mitchell (Grayson Heat Control) Edwin Noonan (Grayson Heat Control) Howard E. Young (Payne Furn. & Supp. Co. Inc.) Platte Overton (Payne) E.A. Garman (Payne) Bert South (Payne) A.W. Pack (Payne) Stanley Ackerman (Payne) Holmes Chambless (Payne) R.M. Angel (Payne) Paul Grather (Payne) Ben M. Wolfe (Payne) J.L. Carpenter (Redlands) Oscar Collins (Redlands) E.J. Redantoff (Hart Appliances) Art Lemmon (Hart) L.J. Wivels (Hart) W. Ebbert (Hart) S.S. Hart (Hart) C.C. Whitington (Payne Furnace Supply) Van Rekloct (Hart Appliance Co.) John Kiber (Payne Furnace & Supply) R.V. Hiatt (Payne) E.A. Guenther (Payne) H.L. Snoe (Glendale) R.R. McKerrehan (Glendale) C.H. Rawson (Glendale) Charles E. Dunn (Fillmore) J.C. Dunn (Fillmore) J.M. Pearce (Fillmore) L.A. Trepp (Payne Furnace) Lou Morris (Payne) H.W. Gaiser (Payne) R.A. Gill (Payne) John C. Mueller (Payne) Wm. Smiley (Ducamman Metals & Supply Co.) G.W. Givens (Ducamman) Ferris M. Wakely (Institute of Human Engineering) Harold B. Kirk (So. Calif. Gas Co.) [Feb. 14, 1940] J.H. McIntyre (SCGC) Roy H. Smith (O'Keefe & Merritt) H.J. Larkin (O'Keefe & Merritt) Walter M. Berry (West L.A.) Paul J. Eklund (S.D. Counties Gas & Electric) Jared A. Hill (Pac. Gas & Elect. Co.) Geo. H. Sunderman (SDCGE) M.S. Holloway Jr. (SDCGE) R.F. Ogboon (SCGC) Ray F. Childers (SCGC) C.M. Sughert (SCGC) J.A. Jordan (SCGC) D.C. Ellswood (So. Counties Gas Co.) H.W. Geyer (Southern Counties Gas Co. of Calif.) F.W. Dodson (SCGC) Theodore Grant (SCGC) Frank N. Seitz (SCGC) R.K. Stennis (SCGC) G.W. Holderness (SCGC) J.W. Pennell (SCGC) D. Wheaton (SCGC) Paul H. Polson (SCGC) James W. Hill (So. Counties Gas) Glen Miller (So. Counties Gas) E.J. Morgan (SCGC) J.H. Taylor (SCGC) U.A. Zimmerman (SCGC) Wm. J. Simpson (SCGC) E.M. Miller (SCGC) R.F. Giales  (SCGC) William S. Banks Jr. (SCGC) Homer R. Mead (SCGC) E.R. Innes (Southern Counties Gas Co.) Rex Davis (SCGC) R.J. Snyder (SCGC) Jas. O. Kuscein (PCGA) Byron H. Brown (PCGA) J. Sergimon (PCGA) George A. Mirgs (SCGC) P.H. Hammond (SCGC) R.S. Harvey (Ind. Fuel Supply) R.G. Lindell (Ind. Fuel Supply) Rubard Albert (SCGC) James P. Carr (SCGC) Thomas Wilson (SCGC) M.A. Klein (SCGC) A.C. White (SCGC) J.H. Coward (SCGC) D.C. McLeary (SCGC) C.A. Worthington (SCGC) H. Musgrove (So. Counties) H. Sanghein Jr. (SCGC) F.K. Murray (SCGC) H.R. White (So. Counties) Walter J. Ferris (So. Counties) Earl F. Chamberlain (So. Counties) H.D. Riboui (Coast Counties Gas & Electric) Frank Mason (SCGC) E. Belhart (PGE Co.) R.M. Bauer (SCGC) Carl F. Smith (Pacific Lighting Corp.) H.A. Johnston (SCGC) W.H. Call (O'Keefe & Merritt) Mr. & Mrs. L.O. Scott (SCGC) L.H. Pentarius (So. Counties) R.E. Myers (Long Beach Gas Co.) J. Russell Watson (Long Beach Gas Co.) Paul C. Hargrave (SCGC) J.S. Stennett (SCGC) John L. Young (SCGC) LeRoy M. Edwards (Industrial Fuel Supply Co,) Alexander Black (Industrial Fuel) Ray Jewell (James Graham Mfg. Co.) R.R. Myers (SCGC) S.A. Black (SCGC) J. Succoutie (Erie, PA) J.J. Delaney (Alhambra, CA) H.B. Everett (SCGC) L.E. Shaw (So. Counties) Frank S. Shell (So. Counties) E.M. Clerarc (P.E.M. Co.) C.C. Fornilyant (P.E.M.) D.A. Figgs (SCGC) E.R. Wurgan (SCGC) V.J. Leury (SCGC) H.S. Harris (SCGC) H.V. Buffington (SCGC) Don G. Parks (So. Counties) D.S. Richards (Ward Heater Co.) Carl Johnson (So. Counties) Harold W. Smith (So. Counties) James A. Merigold (So. Counties) Kenneth C. Hiestand (So. Counties) Sidney G. Miller (Modern Heat Controls) A.F. Michael (SCGC) R.D. MacMahon (SCGC) C.N. Alexander ((SCGC) O.D. Smith (SCGC) Betty King (So. Counties) Lorine Campbell (So. Counties) Ellis Johnson (So. Counties) R.W. Gregory (So. Counties) H.M. O'Hana (SCGC) M.W. Aldrich (SCGC) A.M. Crasna (SCGC) C.D. Haseltine (SCGC) A.P. Kelso (SCGC) E.M. DeRems (SCGC) A.E. Madden (SCGC) F.L. Pargee (SCGC) T.D. Bradbury (SCGC) J.C. Cassing (SCGC) H.L. Woods (SCGC) R.E. Dockstader (SCGC) C.W. Whittington (Day & Night Water Heater Co.) J.R. Bell (SCGC) J.A. Reade (SCGC) E.V. Daily (L.A.) H.G. Flynn (L.A.) George Devine (SCGC) R.D. Smith (Santa Ana) Wm. Young (SCGC) Paul F. Ditzler (SCGC) T.E. Gosse (SCGC) L.E. Green (SCGC) H. Scarlett (So. Counties) V. Jury (So. Counties) T.W. Robertson (So. Counties) M.M. Temple (So. Counties) G.J. Dollar (So. Counties) R.V. Meka (Day & Night) C.H. Renshaw (Day & Night) Ray A. Polverini (Pioneer Water Heater) W.D. Boughes (A.G.A.) Allen T. Fesler (Santa Maria Gas Co.) I.S. Kuper (Santa Maria Gas Co.) H. J. Butner (L.A.) Walker Baylor (SCGC) John G. Williamson (SCGC) E.H. Mohs (SCGC) G.C. Wilson (SCGC) R.G. Weibring (SCGC) Harry J. Keeling (So. Counties) N.K. Senatoroff (So. Counties) H.T. Abbott (So. Counties) G.A. Lewis (So. Counties) T.N. Banks (So. Counties) D.L. Yinger (So. Counties) D.B. Hickman (SCGC) P.E. Hieng (So. Counties) H.F. Alger (Day & Night) J.R. Van Curln (SCGC) S.E. Ledbetter (SCGC) B.A. Denice (SCGC) B.C. Short (SCGC) Patricia Barkelew (SCGC) Margaret Lackland (SCGC) D.A. Darlington (So. Counties) R.T. Dunton (So. Counties) D.C. Myers (SCGC) H.L. Stewart (SCGC) J.L. Hall (SCGC) J.W. Tannehill (SCGC) F.M. Stephens (SCGC) R.F. Blankenship (SCGC) N.L. Steele (SCGC) L.T. Young (SCGC) B.H. Luck (So. Counties) R.E. Honey (So. Counties) A.F. Bridge (So. Counties) C.E. Pearman (Pacifc Lighting Corp.) A.E. Taviasa (SCGC) E.W. Guinnous (SCGC) S.V. Pexton (American Stove Co.) Louis L. Mercer (American Stove) Fred H. Couzins (Western Stove Co.) H.H. Foreman (SCGC) C.B. Hammers (SCGC) John Singleton (SCGC) H.M. Sutherland (SCGC) Joy McCambridge (SCGC) Jerome E. Murphy Jr. (SCGC) K.M. Harris (SCGC) Chas. W. Fischle (So. Counties) C.D. Ferry (So. Counties) J.H. Schwamborn (So. Counties) J.F. Lamond (J.F. Lamond) C.E. Carpenter (J.F. Lamond) F.M. Forter (SCGC) P.E. Phelps (SCGC) T.O. Young (SCGC) Geo. W. Sloop Jr. (SCGC) Mr. & Mrs. A.S. Jermann (Orange) V.R. Flerow (SCGC) W.E. Gentner (SCGC) A.G. Goldschmidt (SCGC) H.L. Avise (So. Counties) J.C. Crooke (So. Counties) W. Bolzinger (Pittsburgh Equitable Meter Co.) Russ Waters (Pittsburgh Equitable Meter Co.) Walter E. Campbell ( Burkay Water Heater) W. G. Thompson (SCGC) E.K. Snidecor (SCGC) John P. Foster (SCGC) Grace Meyer (SCGC) Vira Bardwell (SCGC) W.L. McKee (So. Counties) J.C. Gilbert (So. Counties) F.B. Wright (So. Counties) Chas L. Ferry (So. Counties) A.B. Wicks (City of Los Angeles) A.C. Alter (SCGC) J.S. Powell (SCGC) R.L. Boll (SCGC) O. Reuschel (So. Counties) J.S. Wallace (Pacific Enterprise) John B. Redd (SCGC) E.S. Bryant (Municipal) Leon E. Ellison (So. Counties) H. Lee Spencer (Sprague Meter Co.) Y.S. Wade (SCGC) F. Champion (So. Counties) Dorothy Schwarz (SCGC) Phyllis Ward (SCGC) W.F. Suess (SCGC) G.H. Dieter (SCGC) H.J. Walker (McHale Mfg. Co.) Thos. S. McHale (McHale) Joseph Sodoma (SCGC) Frank V. Doucette (SCGC) N.A. Wright (SCGC) [Feb. 15, 1940] F.W. Kendall (Pacific Gas Radiator Co.) R.D. Westphal (GE XRay Corpn.) D. Avenatti (O'Keefe & Merritt) H.W. Keiser (SCGC) A.N. Smith (SCGC) H.F. Coleman (SCGC) Lee Reilly (Pacific Gas Radiator) Nile Beesley (Pacific Gas Radiator) Allen L. Becker (Pacific Gas Radiator) Willy G. Pin (Pacific Gas Radiator) Chas. Koeller (Pacific Gas Radiator) Fred N. Dean (Pacific Gas Radiator) Clyde L. Whitlow (Pacific Gas Radiator) Louis Singleton (Mfg. Rep.) John J. Wism Jr. (Portland Gas & Coke Co.) J.B. Brubaker (Pacific Gas Radiator) C.A. Sherwood (Pacific Gas Radiator) Chester Cloeser Jr. (Payne) O.J. Ray (General Water Heater Corp.) C.H. Smith (General Water Heater) W.J. Bailey (Day & Night) C.S. Smith (Day & Night) Ed Patterson (SCGC) Harry Deem (SCGC) H.F. Hunter (Pacific Gas Radiator) Wm. M. Banks (Pacific Gas Radiator) J. Shyn (Pacific Gas Radiator) M.C. Sexauer (University Heating Co.) Geo. M. Sexauer (University Heating) T.D. Bastian (Mission Water Heater Co.) P. Metcalf (Mission) R. McConnell (Mission) F.A. Westmyer (Mission) H.S. McFadden (Mission) Edd Friedman (Mission) S.E. McKinley (H.M. Thermo Control) Dean Giolett (H.M. Thermo Control Pope Hilhunn (Fletcher-Veil Co.) John H. Sattler (Gaffers & Sattler) W.W. Cougens (Gaffers & Sattler) Elisabeth Finney (Ward Heater Co.) A.T. Risley (Ward Heater Co.) James Maynard (U.S. Heater Co.) Brandon Finney (U.S. Heater Co.) L.D. Oughettree (Day & Night) E.F. Lorman (Day & Night) F.S. Kichendorfer (Day & Night) N.A. Beckett (General) C.N. McAfee (Ward Heater Co.) C. Deeffin (Ward Heater) J. Tufts (Ward Heater) Geo. White Jr. (Hollywood Water Heater Co.) James J. Murphy (Hollywood Water Heater) Hal Singleton (Grayson Heat Control) Jesse W. Powers (Servel Inc.) G.A. Robertshaw (Robertshaw Thermostat Co.) Lorrin H. Decker (Grayson Heat Control Ltd.) J.E. Kerry (SCGC) R.W. Dow (SCGC) L.L. Puckett (Pacific Furnace) L.E. Salisbury (Ward Heater Co.) Orville Dietsch (Ward Heater) Robert L. Maxwell (Pacific Gas Heating) Mrs. Tom W. Kendall (Pacific Gas Radiator) R.G. Logue (Ward Heater) John H. Hughes (Pacific Gas Radiator) James L. Hess (Pacific Gas Radiator) R.H. Davis (SCGC) N.R. Smith (Continental Water Heater Co. Ltd.) K. Eininger (Continental Water Heater) E.A. Norton (James Graham Mfg.) Jerome Robins (Pacific Gas Radiator) C.C. Heuring (SCGC) J.R. Brick (SCGC) Edgar Smith (SCGC) G.O. Smith (F.H.A.) C.E. Wheeler (Citizans National Bank) G.J. Wemas (Ward Heater) Roy N. Bowman (Rheem Mfg. Co.) Ralph S. Minor Jr. (Rheem) R.J. Setzer (Rheem) D.P. Bisbee (Rheem) T.J. Davidson (Rheem) R.J. Merritt (O'Keefe & Merritt) D.P. O'Keefe (O'Keefe & Merritt) F.H. Barney (Hacker Pipe & Supply Co.) L.B. Klein (L.B. Klein Co.) C.A. Gilliland (L.B. Klein Co.) Fred W. Fink (Hy-Lo Unit) John R. Eck (Alhambra) H.G. Burm (Alhambra) G. McGaughey (Rheem) J.H. Gotwals (Rheem) E.C. Vawlir (Hoyt Heater Co.) E.S. Hoyt Jr. (Hoyt Heater) Marie A. Stade (Ward Heater) E. Gulburg (Ward Heater) H.W. Hart (Hart Mfg. Co.) H.G. Laub (SCGC) S.A. Bradfield (SCGC) Thos. R. Bridges (Williams Radiator Co.) Winslow V. Fitch (J.W. Sutpheu & Co.) Naomi Huston (Ward Heater) Everett Johnson (Ward Heater) James Turk (Atlas Heating Co.) Joseph W. Sutpheuu (J.W. Sutpheu & Co.) Dudley Dean (J.W. Siujhu) Lee Hugoboom (Mission Water Heater) Florence J. Windeker (SCGC) Wes Cartter (Day & Night) M.B. Graham (Day & Night) F.E. Wood (Day & Night) Ben B. Breslow (Utility Fan Corp.) R.J. Petersen (Utility Fan) Henry Sachs (Utility Fan) A.H. Sutton (Mission Water Heater) H. Leader (Mission) Howard Dyer (Titan Valve & Mfg.) E.S. Todd (Mission) Wm. T. Bauer (Mission) G.W. Smith (Ward Heater) Hank Zimmerman (Ward Heater) H.G. Landis (H.G. Landis Heater Co.) E.T. Lynch (H.G. Landis) L. Clarkson (Ward Heater) James E. Eanes (Ward Heater) Joe Potter (Ward Heater) Hugo Burke (Ward Heater) Charles Hartman (Ward Heater) A.M. Stricker (Ward Heater) Robert R. Allen (NuAir Co.) R. Wissler (NuAir Co.) J.E. Phillips (NuAir Co.) Gordon Edward (Day & Night) Marvin McGrath (Day & Night) C.W. Newell (Western Metal Supply Co.) P. Madsen (Huntington Park) A.O. Sloney (Madsen Iron Works) Carl Fleer (Madsen Iron Works) W.H. Howe (Tucson, Ariz.) A.R. Simmons Jr. (Mission) R.F. Stanley (Mission) J.I. Medlock (Mission) P.L. Mink (Ward Heater) J. Couch (Salesman) Wayne Jenkins (Domestic Mfg. Co.) M.M. Kennedy (Domestic Mfg.) Earl G. Matthews (Pacific Gas Radiator) Fred F. Alberman (General Controls) Lucy R. Milligan (National Association of Manufacturers) W.S. Hemingway (Pacific Gas Radiator) E.T. Robinson (Pacific Gas Radiator) B.A. Gregorius (Pacific Gas Radiator) B.B. Wigant Jr. (Pacific Gas Radiator) L.J. Helms (Pacific Gas Radiator) D. Brubaker (Pacific Gas Radiator) C.W. Buckmann (Ward Heater) A.W. Ray (General Controls) Larry C. Biggle (General Controls) Betty Bennett (Eve News) Robert B. Rock (L.A.) H.R. Sweet (Ward Heater) W.G. Lofgrew (Ingersoll Rand Co.) Clyde E. Steele (Ingersoll Rand) J.R. Dickinson (L.A.) Chas. Epstein (Race) Leo Rule (Race) J.S. Stumpf (O'Keefe & Merritt) F.X. Enderle (Frank X. Enderle Inc.) Arthur T. Enderle (Enderle) Nate P. Sexton (Enderle) M.E. Prindle (Ward Heater) W.T. Green (Ward Heater) F.L. Landfield (Monarch Heating Co.) Fred Wambsgrass (Monarch) R.J. Poms (Domestic Mfg.) R.H. Veacy (Western Stove Works) W.C. Bailess (Western Stove) Geo. L. Garrigan (F.C. Nash Co.) C.B. Andrews (F.C. Nash) D.W. Funk (American Stove Co.) H.W. Breckenbrough (American Stove) C.C. Gurney (East Anaheim Sheet Metal Works) W.C. Cosby (East Anaheim Sheet Metal) Clifford Johnstone (Pacific Coast Gas Association) Frank C. Packer (Wilsbach Company) Katherine L. Rathbone (SCGC) Marguerite Seroggie (SCGC) Richard B. Sutpheu (J.W. Sutpheu & Co.) Lawrence B. Freed (Sutpheu) Trevor Gardner (Mil. Gas Spec. Co.) Ray S. Myers (American Stove Co.) Earl L. Rausch (Pacific Gas Radiator) Douglas Hodge (American Stove) W.L. McKee (So. Counties) H.C. Wistim (L.A. Bd. of Ed.) A. Martinson (L.A.) R.W. Campbell (L.A.) E.P. Millikan (American Stove) Ray Gierty (Domestic Mfg.) Abel Prider (Domestic) Ray Collins (Domestic) Wm. S. Moseley (O'Keefe & Merritt) Eddie Jenkins (Domestic) David J. Herrera (Domestic) Sam W. Simons (Domestic) Elsie Stadelson (City Hall) S.I. Ely (City Hall) N.L. Waibaumons (City Hall) J.H. Turner (City Hall) Mulvey (Domestic) C.H. Pill (Havemel Radiator Co.) N.S. Short (Day & Night) W.J. Lambert (Day & Night) Mrs. A.J. Hartfield (Pacific Gas Radiator) C.O. Menig (Pacific Gas Radiator)