Esqwire (Ed Pastor) - Ohio State Sundial - May 1954 - 40 pages

Author Harlan Ellison is listed as one of the members of the "editorial" staff of this Esquire magazine parody that was "published monthly by taking a pint of blood from a small group of people."  Although Ellison's online biography states that he was expelled from Ohio State in 1953 ("... for hitting a professor who had denigrated his writing ability ..." per Wikipedia), he stayed around long enough to receive credit for his article ("Astigmatism And Assasination" [sic]) about television in this 1954 edition of the college humor magazine.  Ellison set the tone of his criticism in the first paragraph: "No single invention in the history of Man, with the possible exception of Woman, has wreaked so much havoc, broken up so many homes, caused so much eye-ruin or disseminated so much ignorance and knowledge."  Ellison was also credited for a gift-buying guide ("Talking Shop") that ran through pages 36 to 39.

The artwork throughout the issue is excellent.  Jim Shockley's cover drawing of "Esky" and painting of a beautiful woman could have appeared on any cover of the 1950s Esquires.  In addition to drawings, the magazine is filled with advertisement parodies and appropriately-short Esquiresque articles.  The best of the articles is "Just Meant For Two" by "Arthur L. Davis, A.I.D., S.R.O." that provides the blueprint for construction of a "riverbanking blind" complete with curtains, foodlocker (for beer & gin) and church key.  "This engineering miracle has already received the Andy Gump Cantaloupe award for 1954 and the Good Housekeeping Family Gold Medal."  [JAM 4/20/2015]

Front Cover - Esky paints a woman
3  Mou Mou ("parfum by Stenche.  Paris at its udder best") by Doc Kaminski & Jules Tarbush
4  Westerville Ad ("get rid of your printing agues and pains") by Clara Dora
5  Index with ad for "Elene Hurtis Shampoo Plus Egg"
6  Editorial by Jules Tarbush (plus ad for "Old Highland Orgy Scotch Whisky")
7  Ad for "Honest Carr Used John Dealer" by Burkey
8  The Sound and the Furry [sic] (letters) by Dominic Colucci
10 On Record by Jug Durea
12 Ad for "Chonnie Walker Reclaimed Scotch"
13 Stop-Overs and Looking Up by George Thompson & Dick Lewis
14 Desert Island (cartoon) by Ken Sherwin
15 Astigmatism And Assassination by Harlan Ellison & Dick Lewis
16 The Bar Essentials by Dominic Colucci
18 Beauty Contest (cartoon) by Adele Stromberg
19 Joke Editor enCompassed by Bev Singer & Bill Drier
20 Sketches to Drawings by Clara Juh
21 Heartbreaker (washerwoman fold-out) by Marilyn Smoot
23 Automotive Fashions (Cabriolet ad) by Forrest Horn & Tom Banta ("$19,240.26 plus carrying charges")
25 Big League Nicknames by Bill Schechter & Tracy Huber
26 The Grubby Touch by Art Davis & Tom Bowers & Doc Kaminski & Jules Tarbush
28 Hoff Style (cartoon) by Tracy Huber
29 Long Ago And Far Beyond by Ken Lynch (per index: "The Cure And Way Back When") by Ken Lynch and Dorie
30 Just Meant For Two by Art Davis
34 Ad for "Jake Dan'ls Tennessee Sour Mash Whuskey"
35 Ad for "Freeman's Feet" ("Superb textures in luxurious imported and domestic epidermages ... the time-old, rough-weather tradition ... a variety of thick soles and prehensile toes at your Freeman dealer.  Write for his name; he's too dumb to put it in the phone book.")
36 Talking Shop With Esquire by Harlan Ellison (plus ad for B&B - "Avec Moi c'est Zsa Zsa et la Benectine dit Lucky George l'acteur")
37 Cartoon ("Got an Aspirin? by Keifir) and ad for "Fricessy Cognac" ("'It's a Fowl weather beverage,' says George")
38 Esqwire Etiquette by Dominic Colucci
39 Cartoon ("Mommy home, kid?) by Ed
40 Crook-of-the-Month Club (ad parody) by Don Grossfield and Andy Crawford ("You get all six of these miscreant at once - free!")
Back Cover - Camel cigarettes (real ad)